From the            
                        JOKIN' AROUND DISK    
                               by               
                        LEEJAN ENTERPRISES    
                     P.O. Box 66. Happy Valley.
                       South Australia. 5159.  

Incomplete Computer Glossary


BIT: A word used to describe computers, as in 'Our son's computer cost quite 
     a bit.'

BOOT: What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging 
      about your computer skills.

BUG: What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer screen for 
     more than 15 minutes. Also: What computer magazine companies do to you 
     after getting your name on the mailing list.

CHIPS: The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid having
       to leave their computers for meals.

COPY: What you have to do during school tests because you spend too much time
      at the computer and not enough time studying.

CURSOR: What you turn into when you can't get your computer to perform as in 
        "You $#$%c% computer!"

DISK: What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard for 
      seven hours at a clip.

DUMP: The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you install your 
      computer.

ERROR: What you made the first time you went into a computer showroom
       'just to look.'

EXPANSION UNIT: The new room you have to build on to your home to house
                your computer and all its peripherals.

FILE: What your secretary can do to her nails six and a half hours
      a day, now that the computer does her day's work in 30 minutes.

FLOPPY: The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due to
        la *--* Qmodem Screen Dump  02/14/90 08:49:38

FILE: What your secretary can do to her nails six and a half hours
      a day, now that the computer does her day's work in 30 minutes.

FLOPPY: The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due to
        lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food. (See Chips).

HARDWARE: Tools, such as lawnmowers, rakes ano other heave equipment
          you haven't laid a finger on since getting your computer.

AMIGA: The kind of missile your family would like to drop on you so that
       you'll pay attention to them again.

MENU: What you'll never see again after buying your computer, since
      you'll be to poor to eat in a restaurant.

MONITOR: Often thought to be a word associated with computers, this word
         actually refers to those obnoxious kids who always want
         to see you hall pass at school.

PROGRAMS: Those things you used to look at on your television screen
          before you hooked you computer up to it.

RAM: What you do the side of you computer when it's not working properly.

RETURN: What lot of people do to their computers after only a week and a half.

TERMINAL: A place where you can find buses, trains, and really good deals
          on hot computers.

WINDOW: What you heave the computer out of when you accidentally erase
        a program that took you three days to set up.
 
                  
	                     From the            
                        JOKIN' AROUND DISK    
                               by               
                        LEEJAN ENTERPRISES    
                     P.O. Box 66. Happy Valley.
                       South Australia. 5159.